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The title says it all! This episode is all about the best “Honorifics,” a.k.a. Titles. Ladies and Gentlemen… Lords and Ladies… What is the best title? Find out in an all new episode of The Habit Comedy Podcast. But most importantly… what are parties like?
Featuring Ryan Dobosh, David Swidler, Jeff Schell, and special guest star, Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
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For a complete library of past episodes of The Habit Comedy Podcast, visit www.TheHabitComedy.com.
Where have all the Land-Lines Gone? A play in one very short act.
Scene: Governor’s office, dusty sunset visible through the window behind the desk.
Governor David, The D.S., Swidler, D.D.S., M.D., Esquire, sits silently with a look of quiet concern as he glances up at the wall clock.
Close-Up on wall clock as the second hand methodically advances toward the 12 … It’s almost 5:59.
Cut to door as Judge-Sensei Ryan “Steak and LoMein” Dobosh bursts in, dressed in his black silk Kimono-style robe with embroidered red dragons on the lapels and sleeves. Bits of trash adorn his shoulders and his hands clutch a dirty canvas tool belt.
Judge-Sensei Dobosh: “Stay the execution! The witness lied to protect his lascivious brother-in law, Building Superintendent Schneider! We found his bloodied tool belt in the City Dump moments ago, just as the accused had said.”
Governor Swidler reaches across his desk for the ubiquitous red desk phone – but it’s not there. The dust-shadow of where the phone had been is all that remains.
Governor Swidler: “Damned cost-cutting accountants! I’ll have to use my cell phone.” (Pulls out phone and purposefully talks at the phone) “Siri – Call Chief Schell.”
Both glance at the clock – Clock shows the second hand approaching the 12 again – it’s almost 6:00.
Close up on Gov. Swidler, as he says to Judge-Sensei Dobosh: “It’s ringing.” …
But then … “It’s gone to voice mail!”
Gov hangs up, says again “Siri …”
Lights flicker and dim momentarily. Seconds pass. Governor’s phone rings in his hands. He answers.
Gov DS: “Hello”
Chief Jeff “Coach” Schell’s voice comes over the phone, happily: “Hey Gov. Sorry, I had my phone on vibrate. What’s up?”
Gov D.S, dejectedly: “Oh, never mind. It was nothing.” Hangs up.
Fade to black.
I approve.